Conflicted

I am so conflicted right now, I usually never stand back and let my friends be down without trying to help, and I am sometimes success at helping even if I can just make them laugh a little.

Danny is being Danny, and I hope I'm not wasting my time on getting my point through. He would probably get mad if I mentioned more, so I wont, but I won't give up on him, because I know he can do more for this world than he thinks he can.

Also Sara right now, I think shes really sad, and lost in her own head right now. I want to be there for her, and try and help her through, and for her to trust me and let me try like she did with Juan and stuff, but she also told me to not talk to her, because I hurt her in ways that I didn't think I was capable of. I take full responbility for my actions, and I will respect her wishes, because I care for her that much still. I want to tell her shes wrong, and that I think she is very pretty, and she has a great body (i'd know ^_^), she has a wonderful personality, we used to have amazing chats, and she would always beat me at my own game, so I just had to try harder and harder, but I also know she needs to get through this, so she can grow as a person, since thats all life is really about.



The only thing I really dedicated my life to, was my job, so much so I would be so worn out after work, that I couldnt find the energy to go out and do stuff, which cost me so much, and now my job has fucked me over again. From now on its just a job, its not a career anymore, I will do whatever I can, to get out of there, I have saved up about 1200 dollars to get my ass back in school. (had to stop eating for a month, and doing anything for that matter, but its worth it) I might give that girl a call, because I'm slipping into the abyss again. Its hard to try and be strong, when the people you really care about are having trouble, and you don't think you can do anything about it.

Kirsten also started talking to me again, that was kinda nice, she told me whats been going on with her, and she was a really good friend for a long time, and shes doing well, it makes me happy to know someone is at least.

Tonight, getting not sick, and watching Firefly.